My heart has always longed for ideal eating habits, though I haven’t always possessed the capacity for their required discipline. Natural foods first came into my life in the early seventies, in my eccentric college town of Missoula, Montana. It was there a friend taught me this powerful atomic muffin recipe.
Then I was attempting to nurture my body with the best; I looked great on the outside-118 compact pounds clothed in the best of vestures-but my insides were another story, for I had the hidden disease of bulimia, which was with me for a total of 3 years; half way through this, I briefly became anorexic and was admitted to Calgary, Alberta’s Foothills hospital, weighing 88 pounds on my mother’s scale. There a rising physician, who was just breaking into this then unknown field, cared for me.
Eating disorders were rare at that time, though now they are commonplace. My heart breaks for those that suffer thus, for I know firsthand their devastating grip.
During the years that followed this hospitalization, I went from an extreme 88 to a gross 226 pounds, before I surrendered and God brought complete healing to me: I now have a beautiful, healthy physique, and I eat sanely, with an ability to make balanced choices, having an innate strength to neither over- or under-consume.
This privilege grew progressively. As a direct answer to an earnest cry for help, it initiated with my courageous act to turn from the bulimic darkness, on a crisp November day in 1978.
Back then, my jaws would hurt from daily, nonstop eating and purging; it was during this fiery torment that I sought the help of a Catholic priest, whom by chance I had heard was successfully recovering from alcoholism; thus, I trusted the hope, visible in his mastery of obsession, to spill over into my life.
My plans were to purge one last time before my 1 PM appointment, but I awoke to late to do so; hence, the first ominous hurdle presented itself, with my intense temptation to skip the meeting. Something bigger than I, however, got me there.
With this glimmer of determination, I arrived at this parish, unknown to me, in a small neighboring town, only to suffer the second attempt to stop my breakthrough: the priest answering my knock informed me that his superior, the recovering alcoholic, was unavailable. My instinct was to flee, but I blindly accepted his proffered services instead.
This man, whether knowingly or unknowingly, told me my bulimia wasn’t sin, but rather something beyond my control; he suggested that I stop doing it; at the same time he administered grace, saying that IF upon occasion I failed, I was to ask the Father for forgiveness, and immediately return to my new eating. All this miraculously seemed doable, for the seed of faith had been established.
I will never forget leaving this sanctuary and walking out into the parking lot, where the asphalt seemed to dance with the reflection of God’s light, from Montana’s perpetual Big Sky. Indeed my soul was dancing along with this lively, beautiful pavement; my new birth had begun!
At about three weeks into this profound freedom, a stark overwhelming urge to purge an excessive meal assailed me, in which there was actual physical weakness, as I staggered going back and forth toward a public bathroom. This moment became a crucial step in proving my liberty, for it was then I decisively turned from death to life: clarity came with the vivid memories, both of the sweet peace experienced during this abstinence, as well as the subsequent pleasures derived from foods that I was now able to actually taste; there was vital victory as I successfully turned, moving to the place where life and my friends were waiting.
It got much easier after that. Only once in all these 50 years did I give into this lie, for I slipped into this old habit for a week, when I was desperately trying to loose a few pounds, before leaving for Paris in 1985; a greater than I brought me back to my senses, and I stopped as suddenly as I had started. While in Dijon, France, after an exceptionally large meal, I was tested, however, to see if I really meant business. Only by grace did I stand, not purging my grotesque meal. Never again have I returned to this inferno; honestly, I am no longer even faintly tempted.
In this same way, though with much less drama, all my food consumption has been refined: first I receive inspiration for better habits, whether it be the exclusion of a given matter, or the addition of something new; next, I weigh and balance the suggestion, getting clear in my heart what is best for me; then, I initiate the change, which often comes with challenges at first.
I find that we are generally tested, when establishing all new behavior; such testing, however, provides proof of the pudding, for it fixes newly-won-rights indelibly. Now I thank God, not for the attacks themselves (which aren’t of him), but for the rich strength provided in overcoming them, through our partnering with his grace.
Bless our food, bodies, and hearts always!
Atomic Muffins Yields: 2 dozen. Total prep time: 3/4 hr/ active prep time: 30 min/ baking time: 15 min (if you have 2 muffin pans).
1 c raisins, soaked in boiling water for 15 minutes
1/2 c oil (Grape seed or avocado oils are best for heating to high temperatures, without producing carcinogens.)
3/4 c sugar (Coconut sugar is ideal-see Zucchini Bread, 2017/07/24, for information on this sugar.)
2 tbsp molasses
2 lg eggs (Organic free-range eggs are healthiest.)
1 c whole wheat pastry flour (May grind 2/3 c organic soft winter white wheat berries to make a cup of fresh-ground flour.)
1/4 c barley or spelt flour
1 tsp salt (Real Salt, pink salt, is so important for premium health; available in nutrition center at local supermarket.)
1/2 c powdered milk
1/2 c nutritional yeast (Available in bulk at many stores, such as our local Winco.)
3/4 c wheat germ
1/2 c old fashioned rolled oats (Organic in bulk is only slightly more expensive and much more nutritious.)
1/2 c sesame seeds
1/2 c sunflower seeds
3/4 c pumpkin seeds
1/2 c nuts, chopped
1 1/2 c milk (May use an alternative milk, such as almond or hazelnut.)
Coconut Spray Oil (Pam is available at most supermarkets; our local Winco brand, however, is far cheaper.)
Preheat oven to 375 degrees.
- If grinding fresh flour, do so now (see photo at top of recipe).
- Cover raisins with boiling water; set aside for 15 minutes, for them to plump up.
- In a large bowl, blend oil, sugar, and molasses; add eggs; beat well.
- In a gallon-size sealed storage bag, shake together all dry ingredients, including seeds and nuts, until well mixed (see photo above).
- Alternately blend dry ingredients and milk into oil mixture, using just half of each at a time, until all is incorporated. (Note: if using fresh-ground flour, preferably let batter rest in bowl for 20 minutes before baking, as it is a coarser grind and doesn’t absorb the moisture as quickly as store-bought flour; see photo below.)
Spray muffin pans with oil; spoon batter into cups; bake for 14 minutes, or until a toothpick comes out clean. (It is best to lean on the side of under baking, so muffins remain moist.)
- Remove from pan and cool on waxed paper.
- Keep muffins in refrigerator; the freezer, however, provides even better storage, if using them over an extended period.
- These are indeed atomic in nutrition!